America. If you don't like it, you can GIT OUT.

When I read this article on Yahoo Sports, I thought, "Perfect. Something, while not terribly topical, rather out there to sound off about."

To nutshell, the Mets' minor league affiliate, the Brooklyn Cyclones went with a little word play to promote their June 23rd affair against the Hudson Valley Renegades, morphing into the "Baracklyn Cyclones." The night is filled with political gimmicks, giveaways and slightly-better-than-high-school baseball.

Let's start out with my favorite two lines of this article:

[Cyclones GM] Cohen said he was struck by the similarity between “Barack” and “Brooklyn.”

I really appreciate that explanation. I should've just gone with [Deductive reasoning expert] Cohen. I'm regretting this decision now.

In addition, the first 1,000 fans get free Band-Aids as part of “Universal Health Care,” all fans named Barack get in for free, fans named McCain or Palin get free bleacher seats (“a bipartisan consolation prize”)...

I wish I had the patience to figure out the odds of someone named Barack taking advantage of this. Best I can do is establish that 'Barack' has never been in the top 1000 baby names according to the SSA...but that doesn't exactly say much. And I really wish they could've done something better with McCain and Palin. Like free obstructed view seats or something.

But then the ante got upped bigtime. The Cyclones not only put up a webpage, but produced this truly amazing YouTube clip.



Honestly, it speaks for itself; I really have no comment.

I don't know why I'm surprised by this, but a single A minor league team named for a roller coaster reports the following:

On the first day of ticket sales for the June 23rd "Baracklyn" Cyclones game, every ticket made available by the team -- nearly 2,500 total -- was sold, in less than 12 hours.

Land of the free and home of the Obama Bobblehead.

Welcome Back, Moises.

It's been a while.

Seems like forever since Spring Training's hernia derailed Moises Alou's Opening Day plans. A month and change later, he's back and ready to make an impact.

“I’m very anxious,” Alou said. “Actually, it seems like it’s been so long, but it’s still April and I’m getting ready to play. I’m happy to be here. I’ve been watching just a few of the games. I hate watching games when I can’t play.”

A swollen ankle during his rehab stint threatened to slow his return, but he appears ready to return to the starting lineup on Friday. Brady Clark figures to be the odd man out on the 25 man active roster with Alou's return.

In Alou's stead, Angel Pagan filled in nicely in left field for the first 13 starts of the year. Over the next 13 of the year, Randolph used Pagan 6 times, Endy Chavez 5 times, and Brady Clark twice. Pagan's first 13 produced a .348 average and had people wondering "Who needs Alou?" But he cooled off, and now stands at .276 as a starter, slugging only .378. Chavez hit .250 in his 5 starts, while Clark only managed 1-5 in his two.

Pagan understands his role with Alou's return, and accepts the bright side of things:

"When I started playing good, they saw that I could be the guy who could back up Moises," Pagan said. "They picked me as their guy, and they gave me the opportunity. There were a lot of guys who were trying to do the job, too, but they picked me."

So what can we expect this early from the 41 year old vet? Realistically, not a whole lot, especially from a defensive point of view. As for his bat, Alou mentioned doing well in 1994 after only nine Spring Training at bats. This sounds like a positive note, but Alou was also 27 at the time, and obviously in a much better position to come back quickly from injury. All that being said, he comes back just in time for the 20-8 Diamondbacks' 1-2-3 punch of Micah Owings, Brandon Wedd, and Dan Haren. Looks like we have the makings of rather pivotal early season series.

So, Moises, let's see some quick hands at the plate, reasonably decent legs in the field and if you get any early season blisters, well, you know what to do.

The Other Man

There's no point in denying it anymore...there's definitely a third party in my relationship, and I think we need to just get it out in the open.

This third party in my life is David Wright.

The funny thing is, I don't even mind that Brian has had a raging man-crush on David for, like, ever, since my dirty little secret is that I have a teeny crush as well. O.K., maybe that's not such a secret, but I feel a little dirty ogling someone not on my team. The only thing that sucks is, let's face it, how could I ever compete with He-Of-The-Megawatt-Smile? He's gorgeous, a pretty ridiculous player, nice, charming (raised in VA, baby!), and pretty much perfect except for the little hitch in that he plays for the Mets.

Sigh.

It should then come as no surprise that my first "SQUEE!" moment of today came when I opened up my computer to see that Brian had IMed the following article to me last night. I will pull my favorite answers from Mr. Wright here, but I have to say that I laughed quite a bit at most of them.

#1:

Q: Could you tell if the monster in Cloverfield destroyed your apartment building?

DW: I did see a couple of landmarks near my apartment, but I don’t live in a real big high rise, so he might have missed mine. Fortunately, I think it was spared.

Q: At least you made it out OK.

DW: I’d hope so! Although, I’m not the fastest guy. I hopped through mid-town and got out of there.

Here, David wins for having closely watched my obsession of the last year, Cloverfield. I award extra points for not being a dummy and getting out of the city in the fastest and best way he could think of. I wonder if Slusho! gave him some extra zoom...

#2:

Q: Ever go up to Mr. Met and say, “Hey, buddy, why the big head?”

DW: It’s funny, trying to see him walk through doorways; he’s gotta turn sideways but his head is the same size no matter how it’s turned. He’s … he’s a good mascot.

In this category, I side with Mr. Wright in that Mr. Met is AWESOME. I know, I know, Wally is a big green monster, but we all know who would win in that cage match. Unfortunately, I must dock D-Wright points for not making more fun of Mr. Met. If the opportunity arises, you gotta take it dude. HE HAS A BASEBALL FOR A HEAD!! Come on.

Anyway, I love David Wright. He's amazin'. But Mr. Met is more awesome, if you think about it. He goes to weddings, is quite sassy, is in the Hall of Fame and again, has a baseball for a head.

So, in the battle for awesomeness supremacy, who wins? Mr. Wright, or Mr. Met? You decide.

Nationals Park: Shea South

There's nothing I like more than a relatively sparsely populated ballpark - the sparse population being largely visiting Mets fans. And so I made my way to Washington D.C. for my first visit to Nationals Park. Overall, I was fairly pleased, although it's pretty hard not to be favorable compared to RFK. Some scattered thoughts to follow. Also, I took a couple pictures which you can check out here towards the bottom of the thumbnails.

I enjoyed a couple headlines from The Onion's sports section on the train in: 'Johan Santana To Booing Mets Fans: 'Shut Up'' and 'Joe Buck to Tim McCarver: 'I Just Said That''

Walking through the park, it was alarmingly bizarre how many people were wearing Red Sox shirts, hats or both. I have a big issue with wearing baseball apparel of teams not involved in the competition at hand. When I go to a Yankees - Red Sox game, I'll wear my dark green Sox shirt (which, yes, I'll admit to owning...blame it on Carly) because it's nice to be rooting for someone, and it sure is nice to root against the Yankees. But c'mon people. Mets. Nats. You're not even in the right LEAGUE.

I have to say, the scoreboard was pretty awesome. It's one huge vibrant screen right in center, and I immediately decided I never want to sit in any of the 30% or so of the seats where the scoreboard is not visible. I'm also relatively impressed with the detail and frequent updates on the out of town scoreboard.

I was very disappointed with the food stands. The days of ridiculously delicious Dominic's hot dogs have been replaced with corporate sponsorship with Hebrew National. The days of inning long waits for a dog and a pretzel at RFK are alive and well at Nationals Park. I missed Castillo legging out an infield single and Tim Redding's double as a result. The guy behind me and his friend were about as peeved as I:

"I'd ask about popcorn but I wouldn't want to slow things down."
"They'd pull out a Jiffy Pop, look up and say, 'This is gonna take a minute.'"
"He'd put it in the EZ Bake oven. Then he'd look at the other guy and tell him to get the manager because they needed a new light bulb."

Finally of note, Nationals Park has a pretty weird sountrack working through the game. David Wright grounds out, cue up "I Like It, I Love It" by Tim McGraw. Ryan Church strikes out, let "Goodby Stranger" by Supertramp rip. My favorite of the night was when Wil Nieves came up to the plate. "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer. Anyone know if the Nats DJ does birthdays?

Warning:

Let me first start out by saying that I in no way endorse the use of carbon freezing as a manner of intergalactic transport or detainment. The side-effects of carbon freezing can result in sickness, blindness or death. Please consult a doctor before pursuing this or any other sort of invasive treatments.




Secondly, I am in a morose sort of mood, and I refuse to apologize for it. (Actually, I kinda feel like I've been encased in carbonite...)

I officially have 9 days left to my college career, and it stinks. I love this school and I love the people that I've become close to, and living in the real world is going to be very, very hard. Plus, I'm going to have to live with a Mets fan, so you can see how that could be an issue to my future sanity.

I've gotten to thinking though, that I would never have ended up here today if I hadn't been such a big baseball freak to start with. I'm pretty sure that Brian and I would never have become such close friends if we didn't share this commonality. I think, and I'm sure he will correct me if I'm wrong, that one of our second or third fights was about whose team was superior, and whether the DH is necessary in the game. That pretty much sealed the deal for me. I always look forward to our annual baseball exodus, because there's something really pure about watching a ball game alone with someone who understands and enjoys it as much as you do. I probably would never have thought to try sports journalism if he hadn't pushed me into learning more about baseball, and encouraged me to try writing on this blog.

I definitely know that the first thing Ebo and I said to each other was something along the lines of "What the $%$ # is going to happen here?" You see, we were both wearing our respective team's apparel when I walked over to find my new spot on the field, and we had the exact same reaction at the exact same moment. (As in, marching band, but that's a whole 'nother kit and kaboodle.) No one really thought that we could make it through a year without killing each other, but we did. Ebo is a great guy, which you would see if he posted more often (ahem!), and he definitely knows his stuff when it comes to the Yankees or baseball in general. Just don't try to bet with him on stuff...it's bad news.

So, somewhere in the middle of all these gooey feelings is the realization that some of my best friendships have been based in some way around baseball. Granted, I wasn't always this huge baseball fan, but it grew on me. I'd like to say that I'm doing a good job of being a true fan in general. I'd also like to think that someday I'll be able to make a living off this interest of mine, maybe as a more awesome version of Erin Andrews or something. I know that's a really ridiculous dream to have, but when I'm looking out at the bleak wasteland of real life, I want to believe that it'll be cool.

My depression is lifted somewhat by the fact that the boys are on a five game win streak, and have had some stellar come-from-behind victories in a couple of those games. Also, Manny Ramirez is again proving that he is a BEAST...but he likes to cuddle too. Not going to lie though, I would love to see some knock-down-drag-out beatings of the A's here coming up. It might make me feel a little better about the end of days.

Livebloggin' It Up

What with the national spotlight of Monday Night Baseball on ESPN, and all the added coverage and stimulus therein, it's about time I add my two cents to the proceedings. That and the fact that my internet won't allow me to update MLB '08 The Show, thus preventing me from engaging in online combat with friends and strangers alike.

7:29 pm - Orel Hershiser just compared David Wright to Manny Ramirez, calling them both "comfortable at the plate like they're just sitting in a rocking chair" waiting on the pitch. Huh. Running down the Cubs batting order, I don't think I quite understand how these guys are 12-6. Fontenot? Soto? We don't even get a slice of Felix Pie tonight. Reed Johnson, you are not a food. Scoreless after one.

7:46 pm - Carlos Delgado just grounded out, now with 1 hit in his last 29 at bats. Yeesh...someone throw the guy a hanger already. Matt Cerrone over at MetsBlog earned brownie points with our resident Star Wars geek, Carly, with this post about Moises Alou being ready to join the club as early as this weekend. Looking forward to it despite Pagan's strong start. Maine and Zambrano doing the job so far, scoreless through 2.

8:16 pm - Carlos Zambrano just struck out after taking two ridiculous "I can hit this ball 800 feet" swings which actually made Sweet Lou crack a smile and chuckle. Maybe that Aquafina really is working...John Maine's looking pretty good so far. He better be good after logging this beauty of a quote via some site called Hollyscoop...

[Of Jennifer Aniston]

I just love her soft and natural, girl-next-door looks and the way she carries herself, her whole demeanor. Oh, yes, the hair. The hair is unbelievable! I think she just gets better looking as she gets older.

[Asked what he would do if he met her]

I'd probably be so nervous, I would trip over my feet. I guess I would take some pictures with her and give her a hug. Maybe she'll contact me somehow and it will actually happen. Wow, how cool would that be?

What you will see to the right is a graphic representation of the 2008 Mets Pansy of The Year developments. Heilman's in a distant third for pussyfooting through a number of his outings so far this year. And again, leave it to me to eat my comments; Maine gives up a two run dinger to Aramis Ramirez.

9:01 pm - Chavez' liner sailed over Johnson's head in center and scored on Reyes' RBI-less GIDP. The Mets are just having trouble stringing together a couple hits in a row. Maine dispatches of DeRosa and Soto swinging and looking, respectively. 109 pitches through six innings closes the book for Maine, a pretty good line overall.

9:43 pm - What a frustrating performance tonight. 1-2-3 7th, 1-2-3 8th. Reyes just booted a grounder at short, following Wright's bobble in the 7th. Heilman just plunked Ramirez. These guys just look like they're playing with a hangover from Philly. Steve Phillips' finest of the night, of Kosuke Fukodome:

Well that's why he sees a lot of pitches..he's a spoiler. That tough pitch, that borderline pitch, that pitch on the black, the pitcher's pitch, he's able to fight it off...to live for another one.

Said Phillips, later, "....Pitch."

Heilman gives up the bases loaded hit. I'm really tempted to adjust that Pansy graph. 4-1 Cubs.

9:55 pm - I think I need to rethink how I liveblog. I say how good Pedro looks, he gets injured for a month and a half. I complain about not getting a slice of Felix Pie, he comes up to pinch hit and knocks his first career tater over the right field wall. This is some sort of cruel joke and I am not amused.

1-2-3 9th. Go get 'em tomorrow boys. Try not to look god awful.

Captain Fenway, He's Our Hero...

...gonna take the Tribe down to zero!

Okay, so I guess mangling a cherished childhood memory in honor of the Captain didn't work out quite as well as I had hoped, but I think I got my point across. It was sooo awesome to wake up this morning (after only 4 hours of sleep) and have that stupid video widget on the Sox homepage pipe up (scaring me half to death, as usual) with the video of Tek's homer last night. His third career pinch hit bomb lifted the Sox over the Indians 5-3. On his day off, nonetheless!

Around the boards, I've seen mixed reactions from Sox fans on this dismantling of the boys from Cleveland. Beth over at Cursed to First seems to feel just a little bad for them, whereas Red from Surviving Grady seems overjoyed. I can't say that I disagree with any point that either makes in this instance. I do feel for the team and their fans...the Sox were whipping boys of the Yankees there for a while, and it stinks. On the other hand, it is nice to win, especially when certain players on the other team talk trash. I guess I'll just leave it at "A win is a win," and continue to bask in the glory of my Captain.

An interesting aside: Curt "Can't Keep Quiet" Schilling may or may not be heading to the Yankees next year, according to his doctor, Craig Morgan. Apparently angry and crazy with pain, Curt said that he would play for the Yankees if it meant he could pitch again. Of course, Curt now claims that Dr. Morgan has "misremembered" their conversation and would never, ever want to wear pinstripes. On WEEI's Dennis and Callahan yesterday (courtesy of bostondirtdogs.com):

"I think you guys know me well enough to know that me wearing pinstripes, regardless of what point of the season or my career it would have been, is not an option. I can’t remember how or think back to having that conversation specifically or… it’s not an option. Never has been an option. And I’m not really sure where he’s drawn from a conversation standpoint, but from a rehab standpoint, I’m probably as surprised as anyone how well it’s gone and where I’m at."

This is obviously just another he said-she said argument that I don't think has too much merit. Curt has said numerous times that he doesn't want to wear pinstripes, and the naive little girl inside me wants to believe that no Sox player would never take the money and run to the Dark Side. Unfortunately, Johnny Damon pretty much destroyed that optimism for me, and I wouldn't be all that surprised if Curt leaving did happen. I think that he should probably be focusing more right now on getting healthy and trying to get back to the team, instead of where he'll end up next year. Can't pitch if you're not playing, dude.

Boston.com has a pretty interesting slideshow doodad entitled "10 Things You Didn't Know About Jacoby Ellsbury." He and I share many things in common, including our love of the movie Gladiator and the fact that we've both moved around a lot in our childhoods. If you're bored or just love you some Mormon (Crazy, right? I had no idea.) center fielder, check it out.

If this post seems more jumbled than usual, I apologize. In the past 72 hours, I've spent about 90% of them in a tiny computer lab trying to put a feature magazine together. Fortunately, it'll go to print at 2 p.m. this afternoon, and my college career will be all but finished. Gah. In the meantime, maybe I can find some time to watch some live baseball for a change.

Especially as the boys head to the Bronx tomorrow. Let's go Sox.