Awwww, crumbs.

Do you remember how I was saying the Phillies were giving the Sox a run at having the coolest clubhouse ever?

I retract that completely.

As is wont to happen whenever I go away from baseball for a couple days, the Sox came out and held two events that embody perfectly why I love them so much. The first being Mike Lowell's The Mike Lowell Foundation Dancing with the All- Stars charity event, where, much like the popular ABC show, players teamed up with professional dancers to be judged by a jury of their peers. The costumes far outshone the dancing, especially the pictured $1000 Versache number worn by the Papelbot, stepping outside the realm of Riverdancing for one night only. (Papelbon recently declined an invitation to appear on the actual show, since it would interfere with his other talent, throwing a baseball really, really fast.) The costume prize has to go to little (scrappy) Dusty Pedroia though, who whipped off his shirt to reveal the word "Daddy" inked on his chest in permanent marker. Mike Lowell won his own benefit competition, much to the dismay of judge Tim Wakefield and competitor Pabelbon, who said it was "rigged." To completely grasp the awesomeness of this event, give it a totally worthwhile watch here.

The second event is the annual Red Sox Cookie-Off, in which four participants bring in baked goods to compete for the title. Former player Gabe Kapler has won the past two years, though controversy seems to follow him- in the inaugural year of the Cookie-Off, were his cookies actually cookies, or brownies? This year, should he be allowed to participate if he isn't on the active roster? The fact that these are the big questions that our team has to worry about is quite relieving. Also, having Cookie Monster actually host this clip is AMAZING. Finally, does it seem like Mike Lowell is taking this a little too seriously? He almost seems angry about it. At least we know the integrity of the Cookie-Off is in good hands though, right? Here's the in-depth report from the 2008 Cookie-Off.

In other news, Hank Steinbrenner, spawn of the Devil, opened his big mouth this week and called the Nation a whole bunch of not-very-nice-things. I saw this on ESPN on Saturday night, and couldn't believe it. Oh wait, yes I could. Anyway, Sox principal owner John Henry stepped up and inducted ol' Hank into the Nation on Sunday by sending him an honorary membership card.

From the redsox.com article:

"I'm a big Hank fan," Henry said on Saturday. "Just to ensure he knows how cool Red Sox Nation is, today we officially inducted him as a member of Red Sox Nation and we are sending him his membership card, giving him access to an array of options, including our newsletter, bumper stickers, pins, Green Monster seats and a hat personally autographed by David Ortiz."

Awesome.